My Cross-Cultural Misunderstanding

1. Although I have had a wonderful time living in Japan, as a foreigner here of course things have not always gone smoothly. All foreigners will have some cultural misunderstandings due to the ways in which people from different cultures communicate. I'm going to tell you about one misunderstanding I had.

2. This story happened when I was quite new to Japan and working at an English school in Sapporo. At this school, we taught students of all ages. I enjoyed teaching children, but teaching adults was much more natural for me. I am not good with kids and sometimes I struggled to teach children. This school had a lot of satellite schools around Sapporo and we would sometimes go to the schools in the suburbs to team-teach children with a Japanese teacher. I had to do this a couple days a week.

3. One day, my schedule was suddenly changed. Instead of teaching children at one school, they asked me to go to a different school. They scheduled my friend and co-worker Claude to go to the first school instead of me. I asked my Japanese boss, Mr. Yamada, the reason for the change. He abruptly answered with a smile: "There's no reason. Just please go to the new school."

4. I thought this was strange, so I asked my friend Claude if he knew the reason. Claude explained, "Oh yeah, that day we are having a model lesson. Some mothers are bringing their children to watch the lesson. So they want me to do the lesson instead of you." I completely understood the reason. Claude was more experienced than me and he was also a natural at teaching kids. Of course kids liked him more than me.

5. I wasn't angry at all, because I knew Claude was better at teaching kids. What made me angry, though, is that I thought Mr. Yamada lied to me. Because I was angry, I decided to ask him again. I directly said to him, "Sorry to ask again, but please tell me why the schedule was changed." When he said "no reason" again, I said to him, "but there MUST be SOME reason! It doesn't make sense." He paused, smiled at me, and finally said, "You should talk to the other boss, Mr. Goto. Maybe he knows the reason.

6. After this incident, I stayed angry at Mr. Yamada for a long time. I held a grudge at him for communicating with me so indirectly. I didn't understand the Japanese way of communicating at that time. I had thought he was a coward who was afraid to say the truth. In fact, however, it seems that he just didn't tell me the truth because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Neither way is correct. It just depends on your cultural background and way of communicating.

7. I learned a valuable lesson from this experience. It's very simple advice, but we often say "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." I have been in Japan a long time and like living here, so I need to accept and understand the Japanese way of communicating. Remember that when you travel or live in another country, you sometimes have to change your way of doing things.

Summarize the story with the following clues...
1. One day, John was surprised because...
2. He asked Mr. Yamada about this, but Mr. Yamada...
3. He then asked his friend Claude, who told him that...
4. John felt...at Mr. Yamada because...
5. Eventually, however, John learned that...

Discussion Questions
1. Do you think John was stupid for getting angry at Mr. Yamada? Why or why not? (Don't be afraid to give your TRUE opinion)
2. Do you usually communicate directly or indirectly with others? Or does it depend on the person and the situation? Explain your style and why you prefer it.
3. Do you completely agree with "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"? Can you think of any situations when it isn't the best idea?
4. Do you think foreigners who work in Japan should be required to learn Japanese fluently and do everything the "Japanese way"? Or is it better to mix the Japanese and foreign styles?